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"Walking together in kindness" artwork produced for Gold Coast Health by Riki Salam, We are 27 Creative.
When Ashleigh attended her routine mammogram with BreastScreen Queensland, she expected it to be just that, routine.
At 42 years old, she had no symptoms, pain or unusual lumps, but after a recall appointment and further testing, Ashleigh heard the words that would change her life: “we found cancer in your right breast.”
The diagnosis came as a complete shock.
“It felt very surreal,” Ashleigh said.
“I just sat there – it was probably one of the first times in my life that I was silent.”
A single mother without nearby family support, the diagnosis left her terrified and overwhelmed.
“I wanted to control what I could, so I went into mum mode,” she said.
“It was very clear from the beginning that I was going to do this my way.”
Ashleigh prepared a will, nominated an enduring power of attorney and ensured her affairs were in order before surgery.
Exactly one month after her diagnosis, she received a 12-hour bilateral mastectomy with immediate deep inferior epigastric perforator (DIEP) flap reconstruction. It’s when both breasts are removed and tissue from other areas of the body is used to reconstruct them.
“I wasn’t prepared for the feeling afterwards,” Ashleigh said.
“After surgery they come in every 15 minutes at first to make sure the blood supply is good. I refused to look at myself for days.
“One of my goals was that I needed to look before I went home, so the day before I left hospital, I asked the breast care nurse to help me look in the mirror. I cried a lot.”
Ashleigh went back to Robina Hospital’s breast clinic two weeks later, where she was pronounced cancer-free.
While she felt lucky for not needing chemotherapy or radiation, Ashleigh was struck with unexpected guilt.
“I didn't feel like I'd suffered enough compared to other cancer patients,” she said.
“I have friends who've had breast cancer and I've seen what they've endured. I didn't feel legitimate.
“Because I'd had reconstruction, it still appeared that I had breasts and when I went out, people would look at me and think I was fine.”
"I felt like I didn't belong or wasn't a "real" cancer patient."
“I struggled with that more than I did with the diagnosis or surgery.”
More than a year after surgery, Ashleigh is back to work as an Advanced Family Carer Peer Support Worker at Head to Health Kids.
Her message to other women is simple: get checked.
“A lot of people in my team booked mammograms and screenings after I was diagnosed,” Ashleigh said.
“Even self-checks are important and if you don't know how to do them, ask your doctor to show you.
“I think it's really important that we know our bodies and recognise when something doesn't feel quite right.”
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you are between 40-74 you can receive a free breast screen through BreastScreen Queensland. Click here for more information.
